Of Pasts and Future

Of Pasts and Futures

Shakti yawned as he was about to sit while Heer dragged him from one shop to another. Gangaur was coming and the elders had decided the celebrations would be one grand event as it was Heer’s last one in her maternal home as next year she would officially keep the fast as Kunwarani Heer Kanwar Songara, his wife. A pat on his shoulder made him come out of his thoughts.

“Chalein?” she asked with a smile on her face as she handed him the bags. He widened his eyes as he took in the bags.

“Itne saare bags Rajkumarisa aapke hote huye mujhe kabhi gym jaane ki zaroorat nahi padegi” he teased her. Smiling she entwined their hands.

“Accha hai Kunwarsa gym membership ke paise can be added to mera shopping budget!!!” She giggled.

The Solankhini residence was being decked up for the Gangaur celebration. Rani Meera was running from one corner to the other making sure everything was perfect for the celebrations. Raja Hemant came home a little early to find all the servants occupied with their tasks with Daima supervising them. His wife was not in sight. He walked through the corridors looking for her when he heard a sniffle coming from the store-room which at a time used to be Heer’s nursery. His wife was sitting on the floor with albums spread all around her; her fingers were caressing Heer’s baby pictures, dressed in tiny baby clothes to her smiling with missing her front teeth each and every picture held so many memories for her.

“Ranisa?” he spoke softly as he sat by her side “aap theek hai na?”

“ Raja ji dekhiye hume kya mila puraane waale albums- yeh Heer ke 3^rd month birthday par liya tha aapne, yeh waali mein pehli baar Maa bola tha unhone. “

Raja Hemant looked at the numerous pictures of his daughter growing up he had been the happiest when her first words had been “da da” instead of Maa. He had teased his wife for a long time over the same. 

“This one is my favourite!” he said caressing a 6 year old Heer sitting on her first pony showing off her teeth while her father held the rein. The father-daughter duo was dressed in a similar riding habit.

“She had grown up so quickly!” it felt like yesterday Heer had taken her first steps and now they were celebrating her last Gangaur with them. He pulled his wife closer to him as they looked through the albums reliving the golden memories of their child’s growing up years.

Rani Sajja Bai sat preparing two royal thaals each carrying the royal red saree, traditional jewellery as well as things related to the Gangaur festival. She smiled as she placed the bangles, toe-rings and the shagun things in it.

Jija hoti toh khud karti sab she thought sadly. 

Sajja Bai missed her elder sister on festivals and joyous occasions such as these because her sister knew all the rituals as well as the traditions associated with each festival better than anyone else. She remembered as a child her jija would be the one to tale her and other kids stories of the festival. Even Pratap and Shakti had grown up listening to their Ranimaa tell them stories. She wiped a lone tear as she heard Ajabde enter with the children of the servants. They all came and sat in front of her.

“Ranisa” one of the kids spoke “kahaani sunaaiye na hume.” Sajja Bai looked at them with a smile as they all looked at her, “kahaani?”

“Haan Kakisa” Ajabde told her excitedly “humne suna hai ki Gangaur par bade log kahaani sunaate hain Shiv ji aur Parvati ji ki toh hume bhi sunaaiye na…please”

Seeing all of them she nodded her head as she began telling the tale. As the tale progressed more and more people joined in the group even Pratap and Shakti came to hear the tale which they had heard from their Ranimaa. Shakti poked his elder brother as the tale came to an end pointing towards Ajabde who looked like a little kid hearing the tale for the first time. Shakti couldn’t help but tease.

“Ajabde aisa lag raha hai jaise first time sun rahi ho yeh kahaani I’m pretty sure aapki Maasa ne aapko sunaai hogi yeh” he laughed a bit not seeing Ajabde’s smile falter but it was Pratap’s words that hit her.

“Sunaai bhi hongi toh am sure suni nahi hongi after all sunti kab hain yeh kisi ki bhi!” he taunted her. 

“Chup kariye aap dono” Sajja Bai admonished both the boys as Ajabde stood up and walked away only to stand at the door. She took a deep breath as she looked directly at Pratap.

“Aapne sahi kaha Kunwarsa, main kisi ki nahi sunti especially apni Maasa ki,” She smiled sadly. “kahan se sunti she died jab main sirf 1 week old thi.” Sajja gasped with a prompt “Ajab beta...”

“ Aaj jab Kakisa kahaani suna rahi thi toh laga shayad meri Maasa bhi aise hi sunaati. I’m sorry Kakisa agar aapko tang kiya ho toh…..”

She turned and walked away leaving three very stunned people. Sajja Bai glared at the two boys, “aap dono shama maangenge Ajabde se.” She told them as she picked up one of the thaals and walked after the girl whom her sons had hurt unintentionally.

Pratap sat numb as her words played like a loop; she died jab main sirf 1 week old thi.  She had never known her Maasa he realised as guilt gnawed his insides. He didn’t mean to hurt her but seeing her in front of him looking all adorable and beautiful made him recall the way she had been ignoring him. He just wanted to…..

Yeh kya kar diya Pratap he admonished his self you hurt her. Ab sorry toh bolna padega na but kaise bolu sorry musibat ko….. He sat thinking of the different ways he could apologise for hurting her and then an idea crept in.

Sajja patted her hand on her Ajabde’s head as they sat talking about Gangaur. Sajja shared memories with her of her Jija while Ajabde just sat listening. Shakti had joined them a little later bringing snacks as well as coffee for all three. Sajja stood up to go check on the preparations a melody came into the room earning a gasp from Sajja. Shakti stood up as well making Ajabde frown.

“Kya hua?” she asked to no one in particular when she heard him

“Abhi na jao chodd kar ....ke dil abhi bhara nahi....” The tune of the guitar made Ajabde tap to the rythm

“Dadabhai gaana gaa rahe hain” Shakti looked at Ajabde while Sajja held her hands tightly

“Thank you humaare Pratap ko waapis lane ke liye” she hugged her tight.

 

“Abhi Abhi toh ayi ho abhi abhi toh...

Abhi abhi toh ayi ho... bahar bann ke chayi ho...”

Sajja walked out to the place where the eldest Songara sat after a really long time. Ajabde stared from the corridor at the scene unfolding in front of her; he sat in the centre playing the guitar his eyes closed as his finger weaved magic with the strings.

“Hawa zaara mehek toh le... nazar zara behek toh le....”

Kakisa and Shakti sat on the sides both holding their hands looking at a scene like it was a dream. She looked at him realising that this was the Pratap Kakisa spoke about, the elder brother Shakti missed.

“Yeh Shaam Dhal Toh Le Zaara, 

 Yeh dil samhal toh le Zaara....

Main Thodi der jee toh loon, Nasee ki ghut pee toh loon....”

His eyes searched the crowd for the one person for whom he had picked up his guitar again.

“Abhi toh kuch kaha nahi... abhi toh kuch suna nahi...

Bura na maano baat ka... yeh pyaar hai gila nahi....”  

The guitar played with the strings of Ajabde’s heart as she smiled unknowingly away from his searching gaze.

“Jo khatam ho kisi jagah yeh aisa silsila nahi....

Abhi na jao chod kar,

Ke Dil Abhi Bhara nahi....

Abhi nahi... Abhi nahi... Nahi... Nahi... Nahi... Nahi....”

As he played the final note all the children clapped really hard making him smile shy at the audience; and Shakti hugged his brother tightly. His eyes then landed on the person at the corridor, she looked beautiful in that wide surprised smile she was wearing. Eyes met as she looked away and back at him again. He was still smiling. A skip of a beat made her realize she had indeed grown up from the girl she used to be a month back.